Month: March 2016

When you hear the word “Relationship” you probably think of a relationship with a person.

The meaning of ‘relationship’ can be described as ‘The summation of the contact we have and the way we feel about, interact with, engage with, relate to, think about, view and communicate and transact with a person or thing’.

Let’s look at a positive relationship. We can use a relationship with a person to make the example easier to understand.

A great relationship would involve regular contact. Obviously if we like someone we enjoy spending time with them. We would also enjoy their company and feel that we like them. Our interactions would be positive and we would show appreciation, kindness and affection towards them. We would think highly of the person, and see them as someone we value and respect. We would also speak well about them, and speak well to them. We would be generous with our time and possessions.

A poor relationship would be someone we avoid, dislike, feel angry or resentful towards. Interactions could be tense or hostile. We would not value their company or opinion. We may speak rudely to them, think badly of them, disrespect them and speak ill of them to others. We would give them nothing.

Notice that the above descriptions do not describe anything about the other person. They just describe how we may feel, think, act and speak.

You don’t just have relationships with people. You have relationships with many other non-living things that affect the quality of your life. These include food, sex, exercise, work, and among other things… Money!

Your relationship with Money will affect how much of it you have, how easily you acquire it, whether you are able to keep it, or whether you lose it. If you want more money in your life, you need to change the way you relate to money.

Let’s break it down into simple sections:

How you feel:
Your feelings are like a very powerful magnet that can attract or repel. If you are stressed, insecure, fearful, worried, guilty, repulsed or distrusting, you will repel whatever you feel those things about – including money. Work on building positive feelings about money. Money is good. It is a tool that enables people to do all kinds of wonderful things. There is plenty of it available to anyone who puts their mind to acquiring it. Having money is your privilege. Feel joy towards money and feel that there is plenty available.

How you think:
Do you think you are going to have a lot of money in your life, or do you think you will probably struggle? What you BELIEVE and EXPECT are very powerful. You will never have more than you believe you deserve. Even in your job, if you are on a low wage, don’t be angry at your boss – you are in that job because that is what you believe you are worth. This may be a hard fact to accept, but the great thing is, you can change your internal thoughts and beliefs, and get a job that will pay you more.

How you speak:
Do you every use the words “I can’t afford it” or “I don’t have enough” or “I’m broke”? Guess what? No one who ever made a lot of money speaks that way, even when they don’t have a cent. That is the language of poverty and every time you speak that way you are just programming your future to be exactly that – Poor. Change your words. Say “I’d rather not buy that right now”, or “I’m going to save my money” or “I’m not buying that today”. Deliberately speak like someone with money, and you will eventually have it.

How you act:
Do you keep your money neatly folded in your wallet, or laying around in your house and car? Do you know how much is in your bank, what bills you have to pay, what income you have? Do you appreciate what you have? Are you happy to receive payment? Do you also happily pay your bills on time knowing that there is plenty more money coming in? Do you budget and save? Do you make sure you always have some money aside for emergencies and plan ahead? Are you generous with what you have when it comes to helping others?

Talk to people who have money. Talk to people who have high incomes and big bank balances. Listen to how they speak, how they feel, how they act. Your relationship with money can either be a positive one, or a negative one – It is up to you. But only people with positive money relationships will ever have a lot of money… The better the relationship, the more of it you will have.

Change the way you think, and you can change any area of your life – Including your wealth.

Stay tuned for the future publication: ‘Simple Shortcuts to Winning at Wealth’

 

 

Vengeance, greed, jealousy, fear, lust, pride, laziness… Each and every one of these weaken you, engulf you, and if not quelled, can damage you.

The key is not to resist them, but to become greater in their opposites: Forgiveness, generosity, acceptance, faith, compassion, humility and devotion.

Recently I have been studying the human trait of Vengefulness and the affect this has when it is fostered and fuelled within a person.

We all know the feeling… When someone wrongs us, causes us humiliation, takes from us, speaks rudely to us, belittles or discredits us. We then experience the urge to punish, cause suffering, and make the person regret their actions.

These vengeful thoughts actually stimulate the pleasure centre of the brain where rewards are processed… This is the same part of brain associated with drug and alcohol addiction, causing us to feel that carrying out our urge to punish will feel satisfying and rewarding.

Studies done in many countries indicate that this is actually not the case.

Persons who have suffered and carry out revenge actually feel worse than those that do not. In addition, the avengers also take far longer to move on, tending to dwell on the situation in their minds, and have trouble ‘letting go’. This can potentially cause far reaching effects including damage to other personal relationships.

In order to seek revenge, you have to feel as though you are the ‘victim’ of someone else’s wrongful action. Victim mentality actually cripples our ability to achieve and keeps us focusing on the wrong things. This can make us bitter and twisted.

The bottom line is, the urge to seek vengeance is primal and stems from the reptilian brain associated with survival. This part of the brain has not evolved, while other parts have.

We now possess the ability to choose our responses, modify our emotions at will, and decide what meaning we will give to events. We can choose to focus only on our own betterment rather than the destruction of others.

Rather than allowing yourself to indulge in pleasurable thoughts of revenge, trigger the pleasure of your own success by putting your energy into advancing yourself to achieve your goals.

Small people tear each other down… Big people build themselves up.

Deep breath, let go, move on… Do it for you.

x Naomi